Mike and I first met in 2008, thanks to a group I affectionately named 'The Fu Cru'. The name came from our mutual friend, Toby Fu, whom I went to primary school with and Mike went to high school with. This connection to Toby opened doors to me including my then best friend Lisa, whom I spent many an evening drinking and giggling with, my ex-boyfriend, and a sprinkle of other friendships.
I was part of the MSN generation, wasting evening after evening chatting about all sorts of rubbish, playing checkers and sending annoying 'nudges'. That said, it helped me keep in touch with the Fu Cru' who lived scattered across Edinburgh and East Lothian. To this day, some 15 years later, Mike's display picture and text font are the only ones I remember out of everyone I spoke to; a jammy dodger on a white background and royal blue comic sans. Think of that what you will.
Mike was always someone I could trust and depend on. You'll not find anyone who would tell you otherwise - he really is a good person. I remember being out with my friends one evening, at The Picture House on Lothian Road. My drink was spiked and I woke in a small room with a paramedic beside me. She wouldn't release me without someone to take care of me. I couldn't reach my friends, despite trying to call them, so I racked my brain for who I could call and thought I'd give Mike a try. I felt bad. It was his birthday night out with his friends too, he was somewhere near the East End of Princes Street and ran all the way to collect me. He took me back to his flat and in true gentlemanly fashion let me sleep on his sofa for the night.
In the Autumn of 2011 I was looking for a second job to build my savings for my round-the-world adventure. Mike helped me secure an interview with his work, Vue Cinemas in the Omni Centre. I was successful, and just like that we became co-workers. I'll be the first to admit that the sight of him in a black shirt with the sleeves rolled up, black trousers, belt, black dress shoes and his Vue lanyard around his neck...was attractive to me. Working together tidying screens gave us a chance to take our friendship to the next level. Feelings grew on both sides and by the December we were seeing each other. We took ages to share our first kiss; staying up all night talking and finally kissing at 8.30am, which would become 'our time' for years to come. Everyone at the cinema was rooting for us.
To this day Mike teases me for saying goodbye to him on Valentine's Day, as I was leaving for London to start my travels the next day. We hadn't put a label on things before I left, but our feelings were strong, and I spent many a day and evening chatting to him on Skype while I was gone. The time difference was hard on us, but I felt excited when I'd open my emails and see one from him. We put a label on it roughly one week into my travels; it saved the complication of people asking whilst I was getting to know them and reassured us both that we weren't looking for something else.
I came home from my travels for several reasons (expenses and lack of clear plans being the main ones) but coming home for Mike was definitely one of them. I didn't admit it to anyone at the time; I didn't want the opinions or judgement, but 13 years later I can say so with confidence. Mike met me at the airport after a long flight from L.A. to London and a connection to Edinburgh, during which time I lost my phone and had to leave him a voicemail via a payphone before rushing to board. Fortunately we'd been in touch that much that I knew his mobile number by heart so I could tell him where to meet me.
We started looking at flats to rent, focusing on the Broughton/Leith area initially. We went to view a couple, with rent around £600-640 for one bedroom and not much else. We then turned to buying a flat in Musselburgh, to take advantage of my Lloyds staff mortgage rate. Our one bedroom flat had a mortgage of £195 per month - much better! Even repaying my mum the £200 per month to cover the loan for our deposit still meant we were paying less than if we'd rented.
We talked a lot about getting a dog. We looked online a lot too. Mostly at Gumtree and shelters. We enquired about a few but never went to see any. That was until Mike's 22nd birthday. We were staying in a mini-pod for the evening; I'd gifted Mike a cushion with a Jack Russell face on it and that night we saw a Gumtree ad for someone in Aberdeen who was looking to re-home a one-year old Jack Russell called Brewster. We exchanged messages, received photos and videos, and decided to set off the next day from Coldingham to Aberdeen. Crazy. But something drew us there. Maybe it was that he shared his birthday with Mike - and that we were travelling to see him on their birthdays. We paid £200 for Brewster, two crates and a few of his personal effects. He cried while we drove him home but settled into his new life with us really quickly. He was well behaved (albeit a bit barky at times - some things never change) and he slotted into life with us perfectly.
We babysat our niece, Scarlet, one evening in May 2018 and I asked Mike when we might get engaged and/or have babies. The next day we went ring shopping, picked out a ring for me and one for him, and that was that. Our 'official engagement' is 18th May 2018. We had no immediate plans to marry, hence Mike getting a ring too. That September I saw an open evening for Eskmills, a wedding venue local to us. We decided to pop along, having discussed how life was short and that Mikes dad's Alzheimer's diagnosis had put things into perspective. We booked that weekend, for 4th October 2019. Suddenly we had a wedding to plan.
We decided to have a private ceremony, with only witnesses and Sirius in attendance, followed by a party with food in the evening. This went down well with most people, but what mattered was that it suited US. We didn't want an audience watching us wed; we wanted a quiet, special moment with a handful of people and a relaxed celebration with family and friends. Mike chose Killian as his best man, who also walked me down the aisle to Many of Horror by Biffy Clyro. I chose Samantha as my Maid of Honour, who walked Mike down the aisle, and Emily as a bridesmaid, who walked down the aisle with Sirius. You might say Mike has our wedding to thank for his acquiring of the MK2, Golf GTI. That, and again sadly, his dad's diagnosis and reminder to us to live life.
The MK2 car - the project - the money pit. Between booking our wedding and the day itself we had an unplanned house move, taking us out of our first house in Musselburgh and into our current home in Haddington. This meant Mike had to drive along the A1 in the MK2 car to our wedding. Looking back, it's a surprise he - and the car - made it in one peace. I, on the other hand, arrived in the Ford Anglia featured in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. It didn't feel much safer, if I'm honest.
We thrived in lockdown. It allowed us to be ourselves, live quietly and spend most weekends off-grid during the day and watching a movie whilst stuffing our faces by night. We were both happy.
Then our attention turned to babies. Something, it turned out, that was easier thought about than achieved. I researched trying to conceive and took the reigns, hoping we'd have a Spring, Summer or Autumn baby. We had an early miscarriage six months into trying, then again another six months later. It was disheartening for us both and we sought support from our GP. We were added to the waiting list for the Fertility Clinic and told to keep trying. We did.
When Mike's dad was receiving end-of-life care at the Western General Hospital in October 2021, Mike spent several days by his bedside and in a rare moment alone took the opportunity to tell his dad we were trying for a baby. His dad smiled.
In January 2022 we reached the top of the waiting list for the Fertility Clinic. After a few checks we were told we would have one more exploratory procedure before being added to the waiting list for IVF. Fortunately, the HSG procedure has a track record if increasing fertility by 30% in the first three months following the procedure, and for us, that meant becoming pregnant with Forrest. Thank goodness, as being diagnosed with 'unexplained infertility' had been a conflicting one to swallow. On the one hand we were pleased not to have any health issues, on the other, we felt this didn't really give us an answer for our struggles.
I had terrible anxiety during pregnancy, having bad the joy of pregnancy snatched from me by our conception journey. We kept our news quiet until around 16 weeks, when we found out baby was a boy. Shit. We had agreed on a name for a girl, but a boy? No, not a boy. Spoiler: we did eventually circle back to a name we'd discussed on one of our off-grids, Forrest. We decided fairly unanimously and unwaveringly that we were content being a family of three, so opted to give Forrest two middle names which we felt covered the special nods we wanted. Casey, for Mikes family, Coulter, for my gran.
Mike was a great birth partner. He really took the time to understand our options and ways in which he could support me through labour, birth and postpartum. We wanted to keep things as natural and peaceful as possible...never could we have guessed that I'd be three weeks overdue when Forrest was sliced out of me after a long, gruelling induction.
